


In this Reality

by LiveThroughThePages



Category: Digimon Adventure
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coffee Shops, First Dates, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Izzy is a Professor, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, but tai's at the end, mostly izzy's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 04:59:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18242861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveThroughThePages/pseuds/LiveThroughThePages
Summary: The world, reality, isn't always what it seems. It isn't until Izzy meets Tai that he really starts to wonder about the things around him.





	In this Reality

The weight of his bag hung heavily on his shoulder, causing him to adjust the strap over and over again. No matter where he let it lay, it was extremely uncomfortable. There wasn’t much he could do about it though. The laptop he lugged around was old and clunky, but he just couldn’t find it in himself to replace it with a new one. It had been with him through thick and thin.

As he walked, he could feel it pressing and bumping into his leg. Sometimes it even caused him to falter in his steps but as long as he didn’t fall it was okay. The feeling of it by his side was familiar and comforting, and he knew he’d be hard pressed to let it go.

A glance at his watch told him that he was going to be late to the university. At least he wasn’t teaching classes today and only had office hours. It’s not like any of his students ever showed up to those anyway. He could probably just send an email and tell the students he wouldn’t be in. In fact, spending the day working on his research in the cafe sounded much better than his stuffy office with no windows.

Pushing the cafe door open, the scent of coffee enveloped him like a warm hug. The low hum and whirring of machines filled the air along with the gentle, subdued chatter of people already sitting and enjoying a cup or some sort of pastry. He spotted his favorite table at the back - vacant - and quickly made his way to claim it for himself.

His shoulders sagged in relief as he placed his bag on the chair. He rubbed at the sore spots as he stretched the stiff muscles. If he wasn’t going to trade in his laptop, he should at the very least find a more suitable way of transporting it that didn’t result in his body aching for the rest of the day.

With a sigh escaping his lips, he turned to join the small queue at the counter. Mind set only on obtaining his daily dose of caffeine, he didn’t register the body behind him. Colliding with the man, he watched as the other’s cup clattered to the ground, spilling it’s hot contents across the tiled floors.

“I am so sorry!” He apologized and cringed when his voice rose an octave in embarrassment. “I’ll… I’ll buy you another one!”

“Izzy,” the man said with a tired smile, “it’s fine, really. It was already my second cup today. Probably shouldn’t be taking in any more caffeine anyway.”

The man continued on about something he read that claimed too much caffeine was bad for the body. Izzy thought it was ludicrous, seeing as though he wouldn’t have made it through his two doctorate programs without it. He would have commented on the fact, but he was too focused on the nickname. Only his closest friends used it, and as Izzy looked at the man… he couldn’t place the name or face of the other or where he could have possibly met him, and Izzy was positive he would have remembered someone that exuded so much charisma.

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” He blurted the question before he could stop himself. He really needed to work on his filter.

The man’s face turned downward into a look of disappointment. “And here I thought I had left an impression on you after our chat.”

Izzy felt fidgety at the man’s statement. They had spoken before and Izzy couldn’t even remember where he could have run into the other. He took an awkward step to the side as an employee walked out to clean up the spilled coffee. Izzy apologized for the mess, but the young woman just smiled and waved him off. It probably happened more often than Izzy knew.

He turned back to the man to find him staring, making Izzy feel even more jittery. “Are you… from the university?” Izzy asked. That would be the most likely setting. He only visited his apartment, the university, this cafe, and the library. Izzy wouldn’t be surprised if the man had tried to converse with him when he was focused on his work. He tended to hyperfocus on one thing when it involved his research. He tried to work on that just like he tried working on his nonexistent filter, but well… it was still a work in progress.

The smile on the man’s face returned even if his eyes seemed to sag in exhaustion. “Yup! I teach some political science courses.”

_Political science?_ Izzy taught mathematics and computer science courses. His and this man’s classes would have been in completely different buildings. Perhaps their paths had crossed in the cafeteria. Joe would sometimes show up to drag him away from his office, but his mind was always on his projects.

“Sorry,” he apologized again for his lapse in memory, “I don’t really remember…”

“It’s alright,” the man waved him off. “We talked after your presentation on game theory. I enjoyed our conversation, but you were probably bombarded by a lot of questions from other people. Actually, now that I think about it, I’m not surprised you don’t remember.”

He didn’t have the heart to tell the man that he didn’t remember much from that night because presenting in front of a crowd still terrified him and he had been in a rather unfavorable state at the time. Instead, Izzy decided to actually continue the conversation. “You were at that presentation?” He nodded. “But you teach political science.”

“Well it’s applied to social situations and politics tend to be very social. Game theory fits it very well. I even made it mandatory for my students to attend and write a report about it.” Izzy stared at him in shock. “You even gave a political example. Don’t tell me you forgot!” Izzy’s face flushed as the man’s head fell backwards and he laughed _loudly_ , causing everyone to turn towards them. “Come on.” A hand fell to Izzy’s shoulder and guided him toward the line that had decreased drastically. “I’ll wait with you.”

Anxiety fluttered to life as they stood side by side. Izzy wasn’t really given an option (though Izzy had offered to buy him another coffee) and he still didn’t know the man’s name. He had never had serious contact with anyone from the man’s department and he couldn’t even recall the head of the department’s name!

They took a step forward as the queue decreased by one. Izzy took a chance and glanced at the man. He seemed completely unfazed by the turn of events. His shoulders were relaxed, a slight smile played on his lips, and his eyes scanned the area with ease. Basically, he was the complete opposite of Izzy’s tense and fidgety state.

They took another step forward. The silence was grating on Izzy’s nerves. “What’s your name?” He blurted and mentally cursed his lack of filter again. The man turned to look at him in surprise. Izzy’s hand rubbed at his neck as he looked down in embarrassment. “I mean… It’s only fair that I ask, seeing as though you know me, but due to my inattentiveness to details…”

“But you’re a very detailed person,” the man stated and Izzy could feel the heat creeping up his neck. No doubt, he’d soon turn the same color of his hair. “I could tell in your presentation that you take everything into consideration.”

“Yes, but that’s academic related and not quite…” He waved his hand, motioning between the two of them. “Social situations are not my strength.”

The man chuckled at that. “I see.” A grin was plastered on his face as he held out a hand to Izzy. “Taichi Kamiya, but just Tai is fine.”

Izzy grabbed Tai’s hand with earnest. “It’s nice to properly meet you, Tai.”

“Hopefully I made a stronger impression this time,” Tai teased. “I wouldn’t want you to go forgetting me again.”

“Never.” Realization hit Izzy that he had said the word aloud when Tai’s eyes widened in surprise. Izzy’s brain went into overdrive as he tried to find a way to explain himself with that one. He really needed that caffeine to give his brain more focus.

He opened his mouth to say just that, but thankfully they were interrupted by the cashier. Izzy ordered and even coerced Tai into telling him what he had been drinking so that he could stop feeling guilty for spilling his coffee. Handing over the other’s coffee made him feel better than he anticipated.

Izzy watched him turn to leave. “Tai?” He called out - strike three for his lack of filter. He _really_ needed to work on that. Tai looked back at him with curiosity. “Would you like to join me? If your free that is!” He added quickly, knowing that being a professor sometimes meant odd schedules and Izzy didn’t know when the political science courses took place.

Tai seemed to contemplate it, but eventually agreed. They walked back to Izzy’s table in silence. Tai attempted to move Izzy’s bag twice before just staring at the redhead. “How is your back okay while carrying this? Is it filled with bricks?!”

Izzy took his bag carefully and moved it to the floor. “No, it’s my laptop,” he said defensively as he removed it from the bag to place it on the table.

“You are aware that this thing is ancient technology… right?” Tai stared at the bulky machinery in awe.

Gazing at the yellow and white coloring, Izzy sighed. Yes, he was well aware of that fact but it could still do what he needed. Therefore, he kept it. Ignoring Tai for the moment, Izzy took a moment to email his classes to cancel office hours.

With a sigh, he closed his laptop and took a sip of the hot coffee. Warmth spread through his body and he smiled, feeling the tension in his shoulders drift away. He opened his eyes to find Tai staring at him. “What?” He asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious .

“Nothing,” Tai said with a shake of his head. “Just thought of you as more of a tea person.”

“I like both,” Izzy explained. Tea was probably better for him. He was usually a nervous person and the coffee always increased his anxiety, but it also helped him focus more than tea could. He was 100% addicted to caffeine at this point but he didn’t care. “Can I ask you a question?”

Amusement crossed Tai’s face. Izzy knew it was because he was asking permission rather than just voicing his questions, but at least he was trying. “Shoot.”

“You called me Izzy.”

“Is that supposed to be the question?” Tai frowned in confusion.

“Why?” He asked.

“Why?” Tai parroted his question. “Why did I call you Izzy?”

Izzy nodded. He just couldn’t figure it out. There were only a select few that knew or even used that nickname. Everyone either called him Dr. Izumi or Koushiro. Tai was an enigma and he was well aware that his staring was causing the other to fidget. At least the tables had turned now.

“It’s your name,” Tai said but it held a questioning tone like he wasn’t sure if that was the correct answer.

“It’s a nickname,” Izzy explained, “that only my few close friends use.” Perhaps Tai knew some of them? “I was just wondering how you know it.”

Tai’s eyes widened in realization. “I guess… I must have heard someone call you that. Should I not? Do you usually go by Dr. Izumi?”

Under normal circumstances, Izzy would have refused to allow this stranger to use his nickname. Yet, for some reason… the idea of Tai calling him Koushiro or Dr. Izumi just didn’t seem right. He shook his head. “No,” he said, surprising them both. “It only seems fair for you to call me Izzy if I’m calling you by your nickname.”

The smile Tai emitted at those words felt brighter than the sun to Izzy. “Thanks, Izzy.”

He looked away and rubbed his neck in embarrassment. “You don’t have to thank me.” The situation was logical. There was no reason for the other to thank him. It’s not like he was giving permission for something serious. It was just a name. _But it feels like more_.

“I have to go.” Tai’s words pulled Izzy back into himself. Tai was looking down at his watch with a frown. He must have noticed Izzy’s confusion because he smiled. “Class,” he said in a way of explanation as he stood from his seat. “Thanks for asking me to sit with you.” Izzy ignored the warmth in his cheeks and shrugged it off. “See you around, Izzy.”

“Will I?” He asked as Tai turned toward the door. He was positive that his face was red now. He suddenly had this odd feeling that if Tai walked through those doors, Izzy wouldn’t see him again. It felt like he was saying goodbye for good and it didn’t sit well with him. He’d just met Tai; he didn’t want this to end. He felt like he could really get along with him, and that was a rarity for Izzy.

Tai grinned brightly, chuckling under his breath. “Of course, you will.” Izzy wasn’t so sure. “We work at the same university, after all. I’m sure we’ll see each other.”

Izzy nodded and waved goodbye. He watched Tai leave the cafe. Loneliness settled in his chest as he pulled his computer toward him. He had work to do and what better way to distract himself than immersing himself in his work.

_It’s not goodbye_ , he told himself. Despite the probability of him running into Tai on campus was low, it wasn’t completely impossible. The campus was only so large. There were shared spaces like the library and cafeteria, though Izzy wasn’t too sure how often Tai stepped foot into the library.

_It’s not goodbye_ , but why were his hands shaking so much?

Sighing, Izzy rubbed his hands together anxiously. “Stupid coffee,” he mumbled as he opened his files and began looking over the code he’d written the day before. The emptiness faded as his eyes ran over the lines of code.

_Not goodbye._

* * *

It wasn’t goodbye, but he hadn’t seen Tai on campus. He had a feeling that was going to be pretty much impossible. They met again on one of his usual trips to the cafe they had met at previously. Izzy had already emailed his students about cancelling office hours. He was farther behind on his work than he’d like to be, so he intended to work in the cafe for the day to catch up. He hadn’t been expecting Tai to appear at his table while he worked with coffee and two muffins in hand.

One of said muffins was even slid across the table top to him. Izzy gave him a confused look when he felt the plate press against his arm. “You looked like you could use a break,” Tai explained. Izzy frowned at his words. He had most definitely not been working that long. “You should at least eat something.”

“I’m not,” he began to say he wasn’t hungry but the rumbling of his stomach was loud enough for Tai to hear. Grumbling a ‘thank you’ under his breath, Izzy bit into the muffin. His mouth watered painfully when the flavors hit his tongue. This place always did have the best baked goods.

“You were saying?” Tai gives him a teasing look after Izzy took three more large bites that left him with just half a muffin and very stuffed cheeks. Izzy glared at him and made an effort to push the food away and return to his work. “Oh, come on…” Tai whined, and Izzy had to purse his lips to keep himself from smiling. “And I went out of my way to get this for you.”

The sad look easily broke through his resolve. “Thanks, Tai,” Izzy said with a smile, “I appreciate it.”

Tai grinned as Izzy nibbled at the muffin. “I’m glad you remembered my name this time. Glad to see I made an impression.”

Rolling his eyes, Izzy tried to focus on the code in front of him. This was a large project that he had to get just right. He’d been working on it for over a year now and he was just getting the framework finished. It was the whole reason he was in the cafe to begin with, but Tai’s presence was hard to ignore. “No, I simply made an effort to remember this time,” he joked, hoping Tai could hear the slight inflection in his voice. “It would have been too embarrassing for either of us if I were to forget _again_.”

A bark of laughter eased Izzy’s worry that he’d gone too far with his sense of humor. Not many were able to catch on, but he was glad that Tai could. “I appreciate the effort then.”

Izzy hummed in response as he scrolled to the bottom of his work. He began typing, feeling himself falling into his usual stupor. Before he could lose himself completely, a bodily shift from Tai would pull him back out. It was kind of nice being able to stay aware of his surroundings for once. He could actually take care of his basic needs, like eating.

_I’m glad it wasn’t goodbye_ , Izzy thought as a smile found its way to his face.

“I told you you’d see me,” Tai’s voice was low. Izzy flinched and looked up to find Tai watching him carefully. “You didn’t believe me?”

He felt the fidgety nerves rising to the surface and the sudden desire to hold something in his hands, so he picked up the muffin and stared at it. “It’s not that I didn’t believe you,” Izzy mumbled in embarrassment at being caught. “It’s just…” He began but cut himself off. He had just met Tai. There was no need for him to hear his complaints of people. He wasn’t even sure if he could consider the other his friend - just mere acquaintances.

“People don’t stick around?” Tai offered.

There was a sadness in his eyes, but it didn’t feel like pity to Izzy. He’d seen plenty of that in his life. This felt more like understanding but with a hint of guilt. Izzy wondered why Tai would feel like that.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, “not many people can... handle me…” It sounded weird to say it like that, but Izzy was aware of his shortcomings. He had many of those in the social aspect of life. Awkward might as well be his middle name, yet it almost felt expected seeing as though he already had two doctorates at the age of 22. He was the youngest professor in his department, which did nothing to help the situation.

Tai nodded and again there was a look of understanding. “You’re intense when it comes to your work.” Izzy stared at him and Tai shrugged. “I can just tell. It’s not a bad thing, you know?”

Izzy kept his mouth shut. Agreeing with Tai just meant that he would be lying. He’d rather just ignore the other’s words instead.

“It’s admirable,” Tai continued when Izzy refused to respond. “I like it.”

Looking up, Izzy found adoring eyes on him and it made him shift in his seat. “You… like it?” A nod. Tai actually nodded. “Why?” The question was warranted in Izzy’s opinion. Even his parents - as wonderful as they were - struggled with his behaviors. He never blamed them. Yet Tai was a stranger and he was saying he liked something about Izzy that few people appreciated.

Tai looked down at his coffee, brow furrowing in concentration. “It shows that you invest your time and effort into something you enjoy. You realize how important something is and you put forth your best.” Tai looked up at him again with an intensity that captured every bit of Izzy’s attention. “You put your all into what you love.”

His face felt warm as he looked down at the muffin still in his hands. Unfortunately, he’d grasped it a little too hard, leaving it in pieces. “That’s… uh…” he gently placed the muffin down to prevent any more of a mess. “That’s a lot of praise…”

“Surprised?” Tai teased as Izzy brushed the crumbs from his hands.

“I must admit I was not expecting such words from you.” Tai grinned. “But I really shouldn’t be surprised given your background as a politician.”

“You’ve been researching me.” Tai’s eyes widened slightly.

“You give extremely eloquent speeches. The way you capture your audience’s attention is very impressive.” Izzy took a sip of his coffee as he remembered the various videos he’d watched. “You probably could have been elected to any position you ran for.”

“Now who’s giving the high praise?” Izzy felt a surge of pride when Tai’s cheeks tinted a slight red.

Izzy shrugged. “I’m just being honest.” There was one thing that bothered him though. “Why did you drop out of the race?” Tai had easily been the favorite but without much warning he just stopped campaigning. There was a lot of speculation from news reporters at the time but Tai never gave a statement. Then he suddenly began working at the university. It made Izzy curious.

It made him even more so when Tai’s demeanor changed at the question. Izzy wasn’t the greatest at reading people but he could tell something was wrong when Tai’s shoulders tensed and he sat a little taller. He was on the verge of apologizing for his insensitive question when Tai surprised him by answering. “Personal reasons,” he said.

Izzy wasn’t happy with the answer. Personal problems could encompass many areas, but he knew prying was selfish and he wasn’t curious enough to burn this newly formed bridge. The only problem was that Izzy didn’t know exactly what to say next.

“It was…” Tai pauses and Izzy watched him wring his hands together. It was the first nervous tick he’d seen from the other, and a stark contrast from the usually confident person. “It was family related, which is why I decided not to publicly announce it. I thought that person deserved better than that.”

Looking down at his hands, Izzy nodded. Unsure whether he should thank the other or not for disclosing such personal information, he took a sip of his cooling coffee. “I’m…” His finger ran over the lip of the mug. “I’m sorry,” he said eventually. “I hope whatever your family went through has been resolved.”

“It’s not,” Tai said seriously, but his body seemed less tense now. “But I think it’s been getting better. I’m feeling hopeful.”

Izzy grinned at the good news. “I’m glad it’s getting better for you. Do you think you’ll go back into politics once everything settles?”

Tai let out an airy laugh. “What is this? Twenty questions?” Izzy bowed his head in embarrassment, hiding his face behind his laptop. “I was just joking.” Izzy lifted his head just enough to see Tai’s smiling face. “I don’t plan on it.” His eyes seemed to soften as he looked at Izzy. “Everything happened when I was travelling around giving speeches for my campaign. I don’t want to be too far away in case something happens again.”

The look Tai gave him was unnerving, but it still made him smile. Izzy felt like he was missing something important, as if a small piece was preventing him from seeing the whole picture. That realization suddenly arrived with a wave of guilt, yet looking at Tai also calmed him. It was a strange emotional ride that he didn’t know how to quite handle.

“You’re a really good person, Tai.” Izzy’s words brought out a shy look on Tai’s face as the other’s cheeks warmed under the compliment, and Izzy realized there were many sides to the man in front of him. A chime filled the air and Tai frowned. Izzy watched him glance at his phone and sigh. “Have to go?” He asked.

“Unfortunately,” he grumbled as he slipped the phone back into his pocket. He stood up, the chair scraping across the floor seemed unusually loud to Izzy and he wondered if it was due to the upcoming separation. “I’ll see you, Izzy.”

“Sooner than a week?” He asked, not even trying to hide the hopefulness he felt.

Tai looked to the doors and contemplated the answer, which disheartened Izzy much more than he’d like to admit. “I don’t want to promise something if I can’t keep it, but…” He smiled down at Izzy. “But I’ll try my best. If you see me on campus, don’t hesitate to say hello. I know how you can be.”

Izzy flushed at that and looked away. “I just don’t like bringing unwanted attention to myself,” he defended. “That’s all.”

He felt a hand card through his hair and looked up, eyes widening. Tai was grinning at him. “I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah,” Izzy whispered, unable to bring himself to speak any louder. His eyes remained on Tai until the other was out the door and out of sight.

His eyes drifted around the room, taking in the people sitting and talking. There was something off, but Izzy couldn’t quite place his finger on it. Without Tai around him, he felt as though he didn’t belong, like everything around him was a lie… a figment of his imagination.

_It’s the curiosity_ , he told himself. Tai intrigued him and logically, when the other was missing it made him feel as though something was missing.

_Curiosity_. Yet, somehow Izzy knew that this fascination with the other was growing into something _more_ and he wasn’t entirely sure how to handle it.

Dazed and very much out of focus, Izzy stared at his computer screen. The back light glared at him and the lines of code written burned his eyes. He had to get something done today, but for once the strings of letters and symbols seemed like a foreign language.

“Damn it,” he whispered under his breath as he rubbed at his eyes. He grabbed the coffee cup. The porcelain was cold under his touch as he brought it to his lips - only to find the coffee frigid as if sitting out for hours. How long exactly had it been sitting there?

* * *

He was making a bad habit out of skipping his office hours, but he told himself it was fine since none of his students ever emailed him back saying they needed to see him. Besides, he was actually getting his research done unlike when he was cooped in his windowless office. And he ate when he was at the cafe. He also liked to pretend he was engaging in socialization with all the people sitting around him even though he never spoke to anyone besides the cashier.

As he hurried toward the cafe, he hugged his computer bag close to his chest instead of letting it swing around beside him. He was starting to fear for his poor laptop’s life after one nasty bump against his knee. If he lost his precious laptop, he’d lose all of his work. Maybe he should start saving his work on an external hard drive. Yeah, he should definitely do that.

Turning the corner, he saw Tai leaning against the wall as if waiting for him. “Tai!” He yelled happily. Although the other had said he was going to try to meet up with him more, a week had still passed. It was painful to wait for such a long time, and he’d hit a dry spell with his work. He needed some inspiration and for some reason Tai was the first thing or rather person that came to his mind. He tried not to dwell on the fact that the other was becoming a rather large part of his life so quickly.

Tai’s face broke into a grin. “Glad to see you’re still remembering my name.”

Izzy laughed along with Tai at that. “I don’t think I’d ever be able to forget you.” He just caught the flash of sadness that touched Tai’s eyes, but decided not to comment on it. “Shall we get some coffee? I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get some of my research done.”

Without waiting for an answer, Izzy walked in and waited in line. It was surprisingly short considering the time of day, but he wasn’t complaining. He had already ordered and was waiting when Tai stood beside him. He could barely contain his excitement.

“You seem happier than usual,” Tai commented and Izzy could hear the amusement in Tai's voice. Izzy shrugged and didn’t even realize he was still hugging his bag as he waited for their coffee.

“I do?” Izzy asked the other and smiled when the two mugs appeared in front of them. He pushed one of them to Tai as they went to occupy his favorite table. He gently placed his bag on a spare chair, doing his best to ignore Tai’s curious gaze.

“Yeah…” Tai drawled, but to Izzy’s surprise didn’t press it. It was a good thing considering Izzy really wasn’t sure why he was feeling the way he was.

The week had dragged on and he’d been stuck on his work. Could it really be that Tai’s presence was good enough to lift his mood? And if so, what did that say about him? Wasn’t it odd for him to enjoy a man’s presence, especially since he didn’t know him that well?

“Hey,” Izzy looked up to see a frowning Tai, “you alright? You got all quiet… like you zoned out or something.” There was clear concern both on Tai's face and in his voice.

“Oh, sorry,” Izzy said, sipping at his coffee and offering an embarrassed smile. “I was just thinking. Guess I was lost in my thoughts.”

Tai grinned at him. “I have a feeling that happens often with someone like you.”

It did and Izzy was fairly certain that was one of the reasons why others didn’t spend too much time around him. “It… does…” Izzy said reaching for his laptop. “Is that a problem?”

Tai shook his head as Izzy set up his makeshift workstation. “Not at all,” he responded. “I find it rather cute.” Izzy kept his eyes down on his computer and willed the warmth in his face to go away. “This little crease also appears between your eyes when you’re thinking too hard. Like now.”

A finger poked him right between his eyes. Izzy looked up to find Tai grinning at him, and for once, his mind was silent. Tai’s hand moved away and Izzy just stared. He couldn’t do much of anything else at the moment. “Cat got your tongue?” Tai smirked as he took a sip of his coffee.

Humming, Izzy stared at his work as he tried to stay calm. “I never quite understood that saying, but I think maybe I do now,” he mumbled, causing Tai to laugh. “I don’t find it so funny. Not having the words to say is not a very pleasing feeling.”

“Glad I have such an influence on you then.” Izzy looked up at Tai with a frown. He was sure that his question was written on his face. “A genius mind like yours suddenly silent.”

The grin was enough to make Izzy pout. Feeling defiant, he said, “I’m just not accustomed to such straightforward actions.” He managed to reel in his mind and continue working on his code. He had to remind himself that this wasn’t just a social call at the cafe because he really needed to get his work done. “I just need time to get acclimated to your… methods…”

Tai hummed and Izzy fell back into his usual stupor when it came to his work. It was easy really. All he had to do was relax his eyes and let his mind go blank. Then he could take in all the code quickly and type what he needed to accurately. It helped him work at a fast pace, and considering the research and project he was currently working on… it was an important skill to have.

He was unsure how long he had zoned out. He was never really sure. Sometimes it was a mere 26 minutes and other times he’d gone hours without really being aware of the things around him. Those times required Joe to pull him out. And yet again, here he was being pulled out by the simple vibration of Tai’s phone.

Glancing to the other, Izzy saw Tai looking at his phone with a serious face. Sighing, Tai swiped his finger across the screen and brought it to his ear. “This is Mr. Kamiya.”

Izzy watched silently as Tai’s demeanor shifted from playful to serious in the blink of an eye. _Fascinating_ , he thought as he observed his new friend. This was yet another side of Tai that Izzy did not know. Was this someone from the university calling him or perhaps someone from his brief days as a politician?

Tai was quiet for some time as he listened to the person on the other end. “No,” he eventually said with a touch of annoyance in his voice. There was another pause. Tai leaned onto the table and covered his eyes with his free hand. “I told you before,” he mumbled. It was so low that Izzy could just hear it over the sounds around them. “I’m not making any statements or interviews.”

_It’s his political background then_ , Izzy concluded. It made sense. Why would he need to give statements or interviews as a professor. Besides, Tai’s sudden absence was still a bit of a mystery that people were trying to either figure out or understand. Izzy could only imagine how exhausting that must be.

“They’re digging for something that isn’t there,” Tai mumbled, turning in his seat so Izzy could only view his side profile but he could easily tell how frustrated Tai was with how the conversation was going.

Izzy picked up his coffee to find it far colder than he expected. _Good thing I don’t mind it cold_ , he decided taking a sip of it anyway. “My personal life is my own business.” Izzy was shocked at the anger coming through Tai’s voice. He pulled his eyes away from Tai and toward his screen. He typed a few lines to try to mask the fact that he was eavesdropping. “Well, it’s a good thing that I’m not going back.”

Tai cut the call and leaned heavily against his chair. Izzy’s fingers hovered over the keyboard. He eyed Tai warily, unsure if he should say something or not. Without a word, Tai stood and took his empty cup to the counter. When he returned, Izzy thought he looked much more tired than he should.

“Is everything… okay?” Izzy eventually asked. He was usually fine with silence, but not right now. Not when Tai looked like he could use a friend.

“Yeah.” His response didn’t convince Izzy one bit. He continued to stare until Tai folded. “Okay, okay, fine,” he grumbled, shifting in his seat. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Well, it’s hard not to when I know you’re lying,” Izzy commented. “I’m usually not good at reading people, but I can tell with you. It’s easy for some reason.”

“You always could,” Tai sighed in defeat.

“I’m sorry?” Izzy frowned at the comment and frowned even more when Tai ignored him.

“The person that called was a friend of mine,” Tai explained instead. “She was my publicist when I was campaigning. A few reporters wanted to interview me about my decision to drop out of the race.”

“But it’s been two years already.”

“I know,” Tai groaned, throwing his head back. “But some people just won’t take no for an answer.”

“Aren’t you afraid they’ll show up at the university?” Izzy asked concerned for his friend. “Or start stalking you?”

Tai shrugged as if it hadn’t happened before. “If you’re worried about yourself, I’ll make sure they never find you. Don’t worry about it. I’ve taken precautions to protect your privacy.”

Izzy flushed at that. “I never said I was worried about myself and I certainly never asked you to do that.” He didn’t need Tai’s protection from the media. He’d had his fair share in the past. He knew how to handle himself.

“I know,” Tai grinned, “but I personally know how tiring it can be to deal with reporters when they start prying into your life. I guess… I guess I just didn’t want them to ruin this.” Tai motioned between the two of them.

“Th… This…?” Izzy asked unsure if he was understanding Tai’s meaning. He hoped so, seeing as he had just mentioned being able to read the other easily, but he needed to be certain.

The smile on Tai’s face had Izzy’s heart racing. “Yeah,” he said, “this.” Tai stood and pushed in his chair. Izzy watched him with wide curious eyes as the other hesitated. He sat motionlessly as Tai leaned down. Izzy felt the other’s lips on his cheek for just a second before Tai pulled away. “I’m glad we could have coffee together,” Tai said and Izzy realized the other was leaving.

“Me too,” Izzy mumbled. He looked down at his screen as a small smile spread across his lips. “I… cherish our time together.” Izzy hid his hands beneath the table as he rubbed them together anxiously. He didn’t know why he had admitted to such a thing and he couldn’t bring himself to observe Tai’s reaction.

“Me too,” Tai whispered as well. Izzy let out a breath of relief hearing his own words repeated, as well as knowing the feeling was mutual. At least he wasn’t reading Tai’s actions incorrectly.

Izzy glanced up at Tai. “I look forward to our next… meeting.” A sudden feeling of shyness overcame him as he stopped himself from saying something stupid.

There was a small chuckle from Tai, but Izzy kept his eyes on his computer. “It’s a date.”

_Date_. Izzy was glad that Tai had the courage to say what he couldn’t. “Yeah,” Izzy said, looking up at Tai fully. He was smiling so wide his cheeks were hurting. Tai grinned as well as he turned to leave. “Hey, Tai?” Izzy called out to him in a moment of spontaneity. He noted that he was doing this often - always at the last second. Tai looked at him with a soft smile. “If it’s a date…” He licked his lips. “How about a movie?”

Tai seemed to think it over, but Izzy knew he was already going to say yes. “Next Sunday,” Tai stated and Izzy felt his stomach do a little somersault. “Let’s meet here in the morning and we’ll walk there.” Izzy nodded furiously in response.

He felt like a teenager again as his mind already started counting down the days. “It’s a good thing I’m free then. You know the movie theater is only a few places down from here. We can just meet there. It wouldn’t be good to get coffee before a movie anyway.”

“Yeah, alright. I’ll meet you there then.” Tai laughed and waved. They decided on a date and to wait until they got there to choose a movie. “Good luck on your research, Izzy.”

Nodding, Izzy watched Tai walk away. When the other was gone, he stared at the screen but seemed unable to process any of the information in front of him. _I’ll need more than luck apparently_ , he thought as he sighed in defeat. The computer fan kicked on. The poor thing sounded as though it was two seconds away from overheating. “I guess both of us need a break from work, huh?” Izzy asked it.

He saved his work before powering it down. Running his hand over the warm surface, he wondered about what the next week would hold. Were he and Tai even compatible in that way? They seemed like opposites in every sense, but of course there was that old saying that opposites attract. Tai seemed to have everything that Izzy lacked in the social department. Perhaps they complimented each other.

Perhaps that was a better way of putting it. Tai and Izzy were different, yes, but they both had strengths in what the other lacked. Well, Izzy wasn’t really sure what he could offer Tai. The other seemed to have everything he needed in life. It seemed like Izzy needed Tai more but there was still time to figure it all out.

Picking up his laptop, Izzy held it to his chest and ignored the heat radiating from beneath it. _I have a date_ , he thought in disbelief. He had a feeling he was going to need time to really understand that fact.

* * *

Choices in clothing were never a concern for Izzy. He usually just wore jeans and a random shirt from his closet and called it a day. Sometimes his clothes didn’t even match but he never really cared. Yet today was different. He had a date and he wanted to impress for once.

Staring down at the shirts hanging in his closet, Izzy was at a loss. Shades of all colors seemed to swim together and it was making his head spin. He was already wearing his jeans, but he didn’t have a clue to what shirt he should wear.

Izzy turned his phone over in his hands. There weren’t many contacts saved in it. He had already called Joe twice but got no response, so he made sure to leave a voicemail that would keep his friend from thinking there was something wrong. That left just one other person he trusted enough to make this decision, but he dreaded the conversation that would come from it.

Glancing at his closet, he cringed. He had no choice. He pressed the contact and waited as he listened to the ringing in his ear. The ringing continued and for a second, he thought he was in the clear.

“Izzy!” The excited girl cheered in his ear. “I’m so glad you called!”

“Mimi,” Izzy responded, wincing slightly as he turned down the volume of his phone. “How are you?”

“Wonderful!” He could just picture her bubbly smile. “I was just working on some things for my next show.”

“Oh, you’re busy?” Izzy asked, realizing that maybe he really had made a mistake calling Mimi.

“No, no, no!” She assured. “It’s not a problem. Anything for you. What’s up?”

“Uh…” Izzy looked at his closet again. When had he gotten so many clothes? Had Mimi been sneaking into his apartment again to give him clothes? She always did say he needed more in his wardrobe. “I need your help?”

“Oh?” Izzy closed his eyes when he heard the amusement in her voice. “And what does genius boy wonder need my help for?”

“Mimi… really? Still with that ridiculous nickname?” Izzy groaned as he walked over to sit on his bed but still had a clear view of his closet.

She laughed at his words. “You know I only use it because it gets on your nerves. Maybe if you didn’t get all pouty, I would stop using it.”

“I do _not_ get pouty,” he said, but even as he said it he felt his lip jut out into a pout and even he had to admit he sounded childish. “If you don’t want to help me, that’s fine.”

Mimi sighed at his words. “Izzy, of course I want to help you.” He knew she was being honest. She just really loved to tease him, which is why he always tried to talk to Joe first. And Izzy told her that often. “What do you need?”

“I have a date-”

“With who?!”

Izzy flinched away from his phone and he could still hear her squealing and asking questions rapidly. It was making his head spin more than it already was. “Mimi!” He snapped and the phone fell silent. “As I was saying,” he did his best to keep calm, “I have a date with Taichi Kamiya and-”

“Oh, _finally_.” Izzy was shocked to hear how exasperated she was by this news. “It’s about damn time.”

_What?_ Izzy frowned in confusion. Had he actually told Mimi about him? He didn’t remember making any phone calls, but it wasn’t uncommon for him to just forget conversations he didn’t feel were important. Not that Tai or Mimi weren’t important… but he’s been working on his research a lot lately and when that happens…

“Yes, well…” He wasn’t really sure what to say to her statement, so he just continued on. “I’m calling because Joe isn’t answering and I need fashion advice.”

“Well, it’s a good thing Joe didn’t answer. You would have ended up wearing a button down and sweater and looking way older than you actually are.” Mimi’s statement didn’t seem like too far of a stretch to Izzy. “And if you’re asking for advice, it must mean you want to look _good_.”

Izzy felt his face flush at the statement. “Mimi… just help me out… please?”

“Oh, come on, Izzy,” Mimi complained, “Can’t we have a little fun?” Izzy remained silent. “Alright… So you’re probably wearing the blue jeans. Ditch those.”

“What? Why?” Izzy complained. “These are my favorites!”

“Izzy,” Mimi warned, “you asked for my help.”

Grumbling under his breath, he took off his pants and waited for her next directions. This was the sole reason he had called Mimi in the first place.

“Now,” she continued, “take out the gray jeans in the bottom drawer of your dresser, the navy blue long sleeve shirt hanging in your closet, and your black converse.”

Izzy didn’t want to know why she knew exactly where his pants were. He pulled the articles of clothing on except his shoes. Looking in the mirror, he still felt unsure. “That’s it?” He asked. He felt very plain… He could have easily chosen these clothes himself.

“You’ve never been a flashy person, Izzy, and I always thought that shirt went well with your red hair,” Mimi explained. “And besides…” Izzy heard the playfulness in her voice and readied himself for her next words. “I happen to know that blue is Tai’s _favorite_ color.”

Placing a hand on his cheek, Izzy could feel the heat on his palm. “I’m not even going to ask how you’ve gained this information.” Mimi laughed in his ear. “You're sure I’ll look good to him.”

Mimi hummed in response. “Definitely and I bet it’ll be Tai’s favorite outfit.”

“You sound awfully sure about that,” Izzy said with a frown as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “Hey, Mimi?” She hummed. “Do you think… Do you think I’m good enough for someone like Tai?”

It was quiet for a moment and Izzy knew Mimi was really thinking about her response. It was rare for him to voice his insecurities like this. “Izzy, you are more than enough,” she said and he was surprised at how gentle her voice became. “The real question is: Is Tai good enough for you?”

Izzy didn’t see it that way. In his eyes, Tai was everything. “I think he is.”

“Then that’s all that matters,” Mimi said, and Izzy could hear the smile in her voice.

“Thanks, Mimi,” Izzy whispered, “I appreciate it.”

“Anything for you, Boy Wonder.”

This time Izzy laughed. “Bye, Mimi.” He hung up the phone after her response, promising to call her more often and not just when he required fashion advice. But at least now he had an outfit and he felt surprisingly better now that he had spoken to Mimi.

His eyes found their way to his clock. “And I still have plenty- What!” He grabbed at his clock and stared at the numbers. He had to meet Tai in less than 30 minutes. It _took_ him 30 minutes to walk to the movie theater!

Grabbing his keys and phone, Izzy slipped on his shoes and ran out the door. Had he talked to Mimi for that long? He was going to make a horrible impression if he was late for the date he had asked for.

Turning a corner, Izzy spotted the movie theater and sighed in relief when his watch indicated he’d make it just in time. Izzy slowed his pace and tried to calm his breathing, but as he opened the door, he was still panting and he knew he was probably a little sweaty. He spotted Tai near the ticket seller, looking unconcerned that Izzy was arriving just in time almost like it was expected. Izzy wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not.

“Sorry,” Izzy mumbled as he practically fell into the space of the bench Tai was occupying.

“Sorry?” Tai asked confused, handing over a cup of coffee that Izzy hadn’t realized he was holding. The cup was still very much hot, meaning Tai couldn’t have been sitting here for long, but Izzy could have sworn they had decided on no coffee. “What are you sorry for?”

Well now that Tai asked, saying he was sorry for being just in time for their date sounded silly. “I wanted to get here sooner,” he said instead, feeling embarrassed.

Tai shook his head, but there was a small smile on his lips. “There’s nothing to apologize for. I only got here a couple of minutes ago.” Izzy nodded. He hadn’t realized how tense he’d been until his shoulders sagged a little. “Besides, I was expecting you to start working and forget the time.”

So Tai was expecting Izzy to forget about their date. The words somehow hurt him. “I wouldn’t forget,” he mumbled. He brought the cup of coffee up to his lips to distract himself from the disappointment he was suddenly feelings.

“I don’t mean that in a bad way,” Tai spoke up. Izzy chanced a glance and felt at ease with Tai’s gentle eyes looking at him. “I said before that I find your passion for your work endearing, didn’t I?” Izzy nodded. “I wouldn’t have been upset if you had forgotten. Unless you did it on purpose.”

“I would never!” Izzy’s voice rose in disbelief. The shout brought unwanted attention to them, and Izzy ducked his head and stared down at the to-go cup. “I thought we said no coffee…”

Tai hummed. “I guess I didn’t want to miss our weekly coffee date.” Izzy felt his face flush as he took a sip of the coffee. “So, what movie would you want to watch?”

Izzy looked over at the board that listed the movies. There was quite the variety listed there: romance (pass), horror (pass), action (maybe), kids movie (pass), a psychological or thriller type (possibly), and a foreign film (Tai probably wouldn’t like that though). “Uh… you pick?”

“You don’t have a preference?” Tai asked with a raised eyebrow.

Izzy shrugged. “I’m curious to see what you’ll pick.”

Tai turned his eyes to the board and scanned the list. “Is that one a foreign film?” Tai asked, pointing to one of the names. “Does that sound interesting to watch?” Izzy stared at Tai with wide eyes. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

“You… you really want to watch a foreign film?”

Tai frowned. “Yes? Why? You don’t?”

“No! Actually, I wanted to watch it but I didn’t think you… would want to…” Izzy could tell his face was warm.

Thankfully, Tai didn’t take any offense to the words. “Alright, problem solved.” He stood up and offered a hand to Izzy. “We’ll watch that film then.” Izzy let Tai pull him to his feet. “I don’t think we can bring these in though.”

Humming, Izzy took one more sip but the cup was still mostly full. “We could always stop for more?”

A smile spread across Tai’s lips. “I like the sound of that.”

They bought tickets and went to find their seats. The theater was empty so they took seats right in the middle and slightly to the back. “These have the best acoustics,” Izzy explained, making Tai laugh.

As the previews played, they fell into idle chatter. It was nice and comforting. “Nice shirt by the way,” Tai mentioned. “Did you know blue is my favorite color?”

Izzy flushed and thanked the low lighting in the room for hopefully hiding it. “I didn’t.”

Humming, Tai grinned. “It looks good on you.” _Thank god for the low lighting_ , Izzy thought, turning away from Tai and fighting the urge to cover his hot cheeks.

The movie was pleasant. Izzy had at first been worried that Tai’s presence would distract him from the movie, but it hadn’t because Tai was just as invested as Izzy. When it ended, Izzy let out a sigh. It seemed so much shorter than the two hours.

“That was good.” Tai breathed out the words. When Izzy looked at him, Tai smiled. “What do you think?”

“It had a beautiful story line.”

Tai nodded. “Agreed. Shall we get coffee?”

“ _Please_.” Izzy jumped to his feet and Tai followed his lead. “I’m craving a good cup of caffeine.”

Laughing, Tai took hold of Izzy’s hand as they made their way to the coffee shop. The gesture made Izzy blush slightly. Before he knew it they were in line waiting for the cashier to open up to order. Izzy could have sworn the walk to the cafe should have taken longer.

Once they ordered, they sat beside each other at Izzy’s table instead of on opposite ends. Izzy tried his best not to be aware of Tai’s hand still intertwined with his own, but it was harder than he thought. Maybe it was because he could barely believe it. Someone like Tai actually wanting to be around Izzy was still making his head spin.

Even with Mimi’s reassurances that he was enough, Izzy had doubts. He was so lost in thought, Izzy didn’t notice Tai leave to get their coffee. At least not until he was poked in the forehead. He looked up to see Tai’s concerned gaze. “You alright? You got that crease again.”

Izzy took his coffee and let the warmth seep into his cool fingers. “I was thinking.”

Tai rolled his eyes but was still smiling. “Obviously. Care to share?” Izzy hesitated. “You don’t have to. It’s just… I’ve learned from experience that it’s better to talk things out than keep it in.”

The words made Izzy frown. “Who told you that?”

The softness in Tai’s eyes made Izzy feel off again. Like he was missing something. “Someone important told me that once after I got so angry that I punched him.”

“Punched him?” Izzy didn’t know why his hand went up to his cheek, but it did out of instinct.

Tai frowned as he watched Izzy’s hand move. “Yeah…” he whispered as he stared at Izzy’s hand. “It… wasn’t my best moment. My sister was really sick…” He trailed off in thought. “I, uh, well… he helped me get through it.”

“He sounds like a good friend,” Izzy mumbled.

A strange mixture of sadness and longing crossed Tai’s face as he looked at Izzy. For a politician, he wasn’t very good at hiding his emotions in front of Izzy. “He was more than a friend.”

Izzy felt odd. “Oh,” he said lost on what to say. He couldn’t understand why this conversation was making his heart ache. Something was missing. Something was seriously missing and it was really giving Izzy a headache. “Uh…” He rubbed at his forehead. “He was your boyfriend?”

“Yeah,” Tai looked away from him now and into his coffee. His eyes seemed blank.

“The media never mentioned you were seeing someone.” Izzy felt his stomach turn.

Tai sighed. “We kept it hidden.” He turned the white mug in his hands as he spoke. “I wanted to be open about it, but he wasn’t ready. He said that the world wasn’t ready and that as long as we knew, it was enough. And then…”

“And then you started campaigning?” Izzy asked.

A nod. “Yeah,” Tai answered, still avoiding his gaze. “I left. I was rising in the polls. I was so busy that I barely had time to call. The next thing I knew…” Izzy saw how Tai’s eyes became glossy.

“He was why you stopped running.” Izzy’s eyes widened when Tai nodded. “So are you still together? You had made it sound like it was getting better.”

Izzy was not great at social interactions, but he was observant and Tai for some reason was easy for him to read. Something was wrong. Tai was hiding something. His shoulders were tense and his back had straightened slightly. “It’s…” Tai’s hands around the mug tightened. “It is but.”

“Then why are you with me?” Izzy asked, feeling his chest tighten. “Why aren’t you with him?”

Tai finally looked at him. The whites of his eyes were red with unshed tears and it broke Izzy’s heart. How had Izzy allowed himself to fall so hard so quickly for a man he just met? How had he been so stupid? Was he that weak to Tai’s charismatic personality? “It’s not what you think…”

Izzy’s hands shook. He didn’t know if it was from anger or sadness… He felt betrayed. He had let Tai in so quickly and easily because it had felt right. But he was wrong. He let his heart overpower his logic. “I have to go.”

“Wait! Izzy!” Tai called out to him as Izzy all but ran out the door. “Let me explain!”

He didn’t. He wouldn’t allow Tai to spin a lie. Izzy refused to listen to Tai when there was another person in his life. He couldn’t face him. He needed to run and hide, so he did. He shut himself away in his apartment and buried himself beneath the covers of his bed.

* * *

Izzy was unsure of the time that passed. He was lost inside his own head. He was aware of people coming and going from his apartment and simply assumed they were either Joe or Mimi since they had keys. They talked, but he couldn’t bring himself to focus on their voices.

He could hear Joe’s voice at one point as he was coerced into the bathroom to take shower, brush his teeth, and actually use the bathroom. Mimi dressed him in fresh clothes. They forced him to eat, but everything tasted bland.

Izzy was going through the motions. It wasn’t like him. He had classes to attend and teach, as well as all his research. For some reason, though, Izzy just didn’t seem to care.

Once his friends left him alone, Izzy curled back into his bed. Then the whole thing started again. Each day, either Joe or Mimi showed up to take care of things around the apartment. They tried to talk to him, but Izzy just stared at his ceiling. It didn’t take long for them to stop their one sided conversations with him. But while there, they made him shower and eat.

What the hell was happening to him? And he couldn’t think of anything besides the fact that Tai had lied to him. Izzy felt used.

There was a day in which Izzy felt a little more… bearable. Izzy got himself out of bed, and moved around his apartment. He made and ate his own food. He showered and changed clothes. He turned on his television and put on something to “watch” but didn’t quite pay attention to it.

It was progress.

A knock on the door startled Izzy out of the daze he found himself in. Mimi or Joe would have just walked in and apologized if he was actually up and about, which meant it wasn’t either of them. He looked at the door with apprehension, especially when he heard the voices.

Getting closer, Izzy could make out the conversation or at least part of it.

“This is a _bad_ idea,” a female voice spoke. Izzy could tell she was annoyed.

“Shut up, Sora.” Izzy picked up Tai’s voice and froze. Why was Tai here? “No one asked you to come here with me.”

“I’m here to stop you from doing something idiotic. Like always.” Sora, the woman, berated Tai.

“Sora, I love you. You’re my best friend, but you are seriously pissing me off right now.” Izzy was surprised to hear the anger behind Tai’s voice.

“You heard the doctor-” Sora began, but then Tai cut her off.

“Yes, I know. But this is my fault and I’m going to fix it.”

“And _how_ exactly are you going to go about that?” Tai was silent. “Damn it, Tai, this isn’t something you can just recklessly do! If you push too hard, it could be dangerous for all involved.”

Izzy looked out the peephole of the door. He could only see Tai, but he was looking to the side at the woman. He looked upset. There were dark bags under his eyes and his clothes looked disheveled and worn. This is not how Tai usually looked. Izzy could tell something was wrong.

“Let’s just go, Tai. We can come back when it’s better for everyone.”

The hand that Tai was holding up in front of him to knock again fell to his side. There was a look of disappointment in his eyes when he sighed. “I guess… you’re right.”

Izzy hated the look on Tai’s face. As upset as he was with the other, Izzy wanted to help him. Before Tai could leave, Izzy cracked the door open. The two that were conversing outside fell silent at Izzy’s appearance.

The woman, Sora, had shoulder length brown hair and was dressed impeccably in a suit. She was so put together that it made Tai look that much more of a mess. She stared at him with wide eyes. Izzy knew he didn’t look very put together either.

“Izzy…” Tai breathed a sigh a relief. “You’re up.”

“Yeah.” Izzy looked away from Tai and Sora, deciding to stare at his feet instead.

“Mimi told me your address. She was concerned about you.”

“Tai,” Sora warned.

“Mimi?” Izzy looked up confused as to why Tai knew about his friend. “You know her?”

Tai nodded. “I do. I’m sorry for… stopping by uninvited, but I was also worried about you…”

“Do you… want to come in?” Izzy asked. It was the polite thing to do after all. Tai nodded and Izzy stepped aside.

Sora reached out and grabbed Tai’s elbow. Her eyes seemed to be pleading for him to stop but Tai shook it off. Sora sighed in defeat. “I’ll go and wait in the car then.” Izzy watched her go until she turned the corner and was out of sight.

“So… can I come in?” Tai asked, rocking back onto his heels.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” He let Tai walk in and Izzy closed the door behind him. “So, you were worried?”

Tai stood awkwardly in the room until Izzy motioned to the couch. They sat on opposite sides and Izzy felt an itch to hide away. It was maybe a mistake to let Tai in. He should have just let Tai leave and come back another day.

“Yeah, I was. Still am actually. Mimi scared me.” Tai let out a dark chuckle.

Pulling his knees to his chest, Izzy curled into himself. “Mimi blows everything out of proportion.”

“Does she?” Tai was challenging him.

“Yes,” Izzy said, but he refused to look at Tai. “I’m fine, so maybe you should go.”

Silence filled the air. As Izzy looked around the room, he noticed the horrible state his apartment was in even with Mimi and Joe intervening. He was getting lost in himself again and he tried his best to stay focused.

“Izzy?” Tai asked, but Izzy ignored him. “Can I tell you a story?” Izzy kept his mouth shut. “There was a boy that once had huge dreams of changing the world, so when he grew up, he went into politics. One day, he was asked by his old college to return and give a lecture. There he met an awkward boy with red hair, being dragged about by a nagging friend.”

Curling into himself, Izzy listened. A vision of himself being dragged by Joe out of his building toward the cafeteria. He could practically hear Joe’s complaining and nagging about eating and getting exercise. It was a daily occurrence really.

“So, the politician took up an part-time position, teaching a class just so he could stay on campus more often. He made his students attend one of the professor’s presentations just so he could meet him. The politician was amazed at the professor’s words and the way he held himself.”

Izzy remembered the presentation that Tai had talked about. About how they first met. He just didn’t understand why Tai was telling it like a story.

“The politician met the professor in the cafeteria next and was surprised when the other didn’t remember, but they sat together anyway. They got to know each other well. They fit together oddly well.”

Izzy frowned. They met the second time in the cafe. Not in the cafeteria at the university. Izzy would have remembered this. “That’s not how…”

Tai ignored him. “Eventually, the politician found himself at the university more often than in his own office and his publicist began nagging him to take his real job seriously. After months of meeting in the cafeteria for lunch, the politician finally gathered the courage to ask the professor on a date. The professor thought it a joke and laughed, but when he realized the politician was telling the truth, he flushed a deep red that blended in with his hair.”

“Tai, that’s not how it went.” Izzy frowned in confusion. For some reason, he could picture exactly what Tai was saying. It was like a far off memory, fuzzy, but Izzy could even _feel_ the emotions.

“I’m not done,” Tai whispered. It was then that Izzy saw the uncertainty and fear in his eyes. He wondered if this was what Sora was warning him against. “They went on dates but kept it a secret from the media. The politician didn’t care, but the professor was afraid to ruin the other’s reputation. The politician fell in love with the professor, thinking he was funny, adorable, brilliant. He loved everything about him, but then he had to leave.”

“Leave?” Izzy was feeling dizzy again. There was something he was missing. It was an itch in his brain that he couldn’t reach. What was missing?

“Yeah.” Tai nodded. His hands wrung together in nervousness. “He had to travel for his campaign. Kept so busy he barely had time or energy to talk to the professor. The professor then submerged himself in his work. The stress built up against the both of them. Then… then the politician got a phone call from his sister. She was a wreck on the phone.”

Izzy could hear the panicked voice but couldn’t place the girl’s name or face.

“She said… the professor had worked himself to the point of a mental breakdown. They had to admit him into a psychiatric ward at the hospital.”

Izzy’s breath was coming in quicker and shorter. His hands were shaking. “No, no, no…” He whispered under his breath.

“The politician dropped out of the race without a second thought. He went home to find his friends and sister waiting for him. They told him not to go see the professor. He wouldn’t like it. But the professor was the politician’s love and he couldn’t stay away. The sight broke him.”

“Stop,” Izzy breathed, pulling his knees closer to his chest. He buried his head in his knees.

Except Tai continued. “The politician found the professor in the hospital. He was but a shadow of himself. He tried talking with him, but the professor stared right through him. No reaction or recognition. He kept trying. Kept showing up. He took up a full time position at the university. He watched as the professor slowly pulled himself together. He began walking around and his personality was returning.”

Izzy didn’t like this. “Then one day, the professor noticed him and spoke to him. The politician was happy yet sad at not being recognized. They rekindled their friendship and the politician remembered his love for the other though it had never really went away. But it was based on lies until the professor, too witty and smart for his own good, realized the politician was lying and ran. He almost broke again.”

Izzy stood from his couch and moved away. “Get out,” he whispered. His body shook of fear and anger. There were memories coming to the surface that he was terrified of. “Please.”

He heard Tai stand and walk to the door. “The politician still loved the professor. He knows he’d wait until the professor was ready again. He’d wait forever.” The door opened and closed.

Alone, Izzy fell to his knees and cried. It all made sense but he didn’t want to admit it. “Shit,” Izzy wheezed as he wiped the tears away. Mimi knew of Tai because he’d gone through this before. That’s why she knew his favorite color and which outfit was Tai’s favorite. It’s why getting along with Tai was so damn easy.

But it also explained why he kept having lapses in his memory. Why things didn’t always make sense or add up… That’s how Mimi knew exactly where his clothes were. He was scared.

Izzy didn’t want to go back outside his room. His world was turned upside down.

_Now what?_

* * *

It took days for him to gather his courage. Mimi and Joe came and went, but they were glad to see him out of bed. Izzy didn’t have it in him to ask where he was. He ate, slept and stayed in his apartment. Or room. Or whatever this place was.

Out of habit, Izzy packed his laptop in his bag to leave for the cafe but stopped with his hand on the doorknob. He held his bag close. The weight of the laptop within comforting to him. “I can do this,” he whispered.

Walking outside, he closed the door behind him. He went how he usually did. Except, it didn’t take him 30 minutes to get to the cafe, but 5. And it wasn’t a cafe, just a very busy cafeteria. There weren’t any customers, just other patients. How did Izzy not recognize this? Had he been that lost in his world?

He found Tai at his table. _Tai._ He walked over and sat down. “Hi.” Tai flinched and stared at him with wide eyes.

“You’re here.”

“Can’t really go anywhere else…”

Tai licked his lips and pushed a cup of coffee toward him. “I got this just in case you showed up.”

Taking the warm liquid, Izzy smiled to himself. “Thanks, really. I appreciate it.” Izzy looked around. “So this place is…”

“Yeah.”

“How long has it been?” Izzy asked, bringing the drink to his lips. He hoped he could handle this logically first before bringing his emotions into it.

Tai avoided his eyes. “Almost two years now.”

“So my classes, emails, office hours… it’s all been in my head?”

“Yeah,” Tai whispered. That meant the movie theater they went to was just the room around the corner with a flat screen TV. This was like a bad dream. A really, really bad dream. “The university is still going to honor your contract with you. They want you back.”

Izzy, shocked, looked up at Tai. “Really?” Tai nodded and Izzy grinned brightly. “You think I’ll be able to go back?”

“Yeah, the doctor said you’ve been making great progress. Some medicine and therapy and you’ll be able to be discharged.” Tai explained with hopeful eyes, and it made Izzy feel hopeful again even if the mention of medication scared him to no end. What if it messed with his mind? _Not that it could really get any worse thought..._

He reached out hesitantly and took Tai’s hand. “Tai, I’m scared.” It was harder to admit than he thought, but Tai just smiled gently at him. Tai moved his seat closer so he could wrap Izzy in a hug. Izzy felt safe like that. “I also… remember more… and I can _see_ more than I did before. It’s weird that I know where I am.”

“You won’t have to stay here forever, and until then I’ll be around.”

Humming, Izzy let go of Tai’s hand to drink his coffee. “I know how Joe and Mimi have been,” he said suddenly. “But… how’s everyone else? Kari? Did she and T.K. ever get together?”

Tai laughed. “Yeah.” He pulled out his phone and handed it over. “Look.”

In the picture Kari and T.K. stood side by side. They were smiling brightly and looked so happy. “They got married!” He shouted in happiness and surprise. Kari wore a beautiful dress and T.K. a stunning suit. “They look amazing…” He felt some regret at not attending. “And the others?”

“Sora and Matt had their first child. Sora’s still acting as my manager and publicist. She says I’m a pain in the ass.”

“You are!” Izzy laughed and Tai nudged him lightly. “I probably haven’t made her job easy.”

“Neither of us have,” Tai agreed, “but she’ll do anything for you. I think she likes you more than me.”

“Not surprised,” Izzy felt giddy. “Tai, I love you.” He said the words before he could stop them, but the flush on Tai’s face made Izzy smile. “I love you so much.” He felt tears in his eyes. They burned and made his vision blurry.

A gentle kiss placed on his forehead made him smile through the ache in his chest. “I love you, too, my little genius.”

“Oh, shut up. Mimi still calls me Boy Wonder.” He laughed, feeling light and giddy again.

“Well, she’s not wrong.”

“Tai!” Izzy shoved him playfully, laughing together. They huddled closer. Tai peppered his face with kisses. “Stop it!”

“Can’t! Waited too long to kiss you again.” Tai grinned, holding him close. The coffee long forgotten, but Izzy didn't mind. He left himself ride the roller coaster of emotions he was going through. Fear, happiness, confusion, love, worry... There was so much to figure out. So much to process. It was overwhelming, but Izzy decided it could wait. For now, he'd take solace in Tai's embrace.

* * *

Izzy wasn’t perfect, but no one ever was. Tai still noticed the moments when Izzy was lost inside himself, when he lost time. It terrified him to not be able to do anything about it, but he refused to leave. He refused to abandon Izzy in his time of need. The thought never even crossed his mind.

“You okay?” Sora asked once when he had returned from visiting Izzy. He was honest with her. He wasn’t okay. It was painful to see the man he loved not remember him. It sucked (to put it mildly), but he was willing to do his damnedest to fix it all. “The doctors said it would take time,” she reminded him.

So Tai waited and waited. He knew he had to be patient. He had to be careful, too. The doctor had told him that jogging Izzy’s memories may be too much of a burden. It was better to just wait it out. They were right when they said he would slowly start remembering.

Except Izzy was too smart and clever. Tai had gotten caught in a lie and it sent them backwards. Mimi had come to Tai livid and Tai had honestly feared for his life.

“What did you _do to him?!_ ” She had yelled and shoved him into a wall. Angry tears had fallen from her eyes. “He won’t eat. He won’t talk. Izzy won’t even get out of bed!” The anger had terrified him. “Joe had to carry him to the shower!”

Tai was ordered to stay away for his own good, as well as Izzy's. And he did. Until the thoughts and fears had started to eat him alive. Matt told him he looked like shit. What a great friend. Kari brought him food. She only did that when she was really worried because her food was barely a step up from their lovely mother's cooking.

Sora at first went with him to the hospital but then tried talking him into leaving. She was scared for both Tai and Izzy. When Tai told his… their… story, he saw the way Izzy fell apart. He assumed he’d done the wrong thing again when Izzy kicked him out. He was ready for Mimi to storm in again, but she never came.

So Tai went back but Izzy didn’t come out of his room. Tai just kept going back regardless. He’d wait. He said he’d wait and that was what he was going to do. Then Izzy returned. He could tell something was different. Izzy was looking at his surroundings with wide eyes, but it was curious even if a little scared.

It was in that moment that Tai was sure that they would get through this. They could do it. They were going to be okay.

“So, doctor,” Tai began one day. “How’s everything going?” He was nervous and scared about what he was going to hear.

“Mr. Izumi has made marvelous progress,” he said, looking over Izzy’s chart. “There was that brief setback, but since you’ve been coming to visit, his awareness of his surroundings has increased. He no longer lives inside his delusions and he’s actively taking part in his therapy sessions.”

Tai waited for him to say more, but was never very patient. “So? What does that mean?” He didn’t understand what that meant. It sounded good, but he needed to be sure.

“It means,” the doctor closed the file and smiled at Tai, “Mr. Izumi can go home soon. Of course, he will have to continue taking his medication and coming for therapy sessions.”

“Of course,” Tai nodded and grinned brightly. “When?”

“By next week.”

It was brutal to wait that long. But wait Tai did. Then the day finally came. Tai couldn’t stop smiling. Even his students noticed the change in their political science professor and called him out on it. “Professor Kamiya!” One girl called out. “Did you finally find yourself a girl?” Tai just laughed it off.

He waited patiently in the lobby. But his patience was running thin and he was certain the others were getting annoyed at his pacing. _How much longer?_ He kept glancing down the hall.

“Tai,” his sister groaned, “you’re going to give me a headache. Will you sit down already?”

“Just let him be, Kari,” T.K. said, rubbing her arm. “Tai’s just nervous.”

“I bet he is,” Matt snickered, earning himself a jab to the ribs from Sora.

“Knock it off,” she warned. The little baby in her arms squirmed at the sudden movement but continued sleeping as if nothing happened.

“What’s taking them so long?” Tai worried his lip as he moved. He fiddled with his pockets. Always checking to make sure he had everything with him. And then he heard him. He couldn’t forget that voice even if he tried. _Izzy_.

“Are you sure we got everything?” Izzy asked from somewhere down the hall. The sound of rolling luggage filled the air. “What if we forgot something?”

“Izzy,” Mimi whined, “we checked three times! And Joe checked another two! We have everything. Promise.”

Joe’s laughter filled the air. “And I thought I was the worrier.”

They came into view. Izzy looked healthy but nervous. He kept fixing the strap of his shoulder bag. Tai let out a breath when Izzy finally saw him. They froze for a moment. Their friends snickered behind them. “Tai!” Izzy tried to run but almost fell when his bag knocked into his leg.

But Tai was there to catch him. He'd always be there to catch Izzy when he stumbled. “Easy,” he mumbled. “We really need to get you a new bag.” Izzy laughed at him. “Hey.” Tai whispered when Izzy calmed. There were happy unshed tears in Izzy’s eyes.

“Hi,” Izzy responded. Again, they were in their own little world and Tai loved it. Until Matt coughed like an idiot. “Oh,” Izzy’s eyes widened as he looked and smiled at all their friends. “Hi guys!” They waved at him. “Why’s everyone here?” He asked Tai quietly.

“Because our favorite genius is finally ready to leave.” Izzy grinned at that, making Tai feel as high as a kite. Who needs drugs when you have Izzy’s gorgeous smile to keep you going? “And, I have a surprise.” Tai knelt down on one knee.

“Tai…” Izzy’s eyes widened like saucers. “What… are you doing? I mean I wouldn’t be against it but…”

Chuckling, Tai shook his head. “It’s not what you think.” _At least, not yet._ Izzy frowned in confusion. So Tai made a show of patting down his pockets until he came to the one he needed. “Ah, here it is.” He pulled out a small silver key.

“Is that?” Izzy felt his face warm. “Are you sure?”

“Izzy,” Tai began. He stood and pressed the key into Izzy’s palm. “I’ve never been so sure. I don’t want you far away from me again.”

Izzy surprised him by pulling him close. “I’m not perfect, Tai. I still have episodes even with the medicine and therapy. Are you really sure you want to see that all the time?”

“Yes.” Tai pulled him flush. “It’s part of you, Izzy. I love you and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Love you too.”

“So?” Tai asked him.

Pulling back, Izzy searched his gaze. Tai assumed Izzy found what he was looking for because he grinned. “I guess I’m moving in then.” Leaning up on his toes, Izzy pressed a kiss to his lips. Tai grinned as the cheers of his friends echoed around them.

Mimi’s voice rose above the rest. “Can we have a housewarming party?” Her questioned had some rolling their eyes and others laughing.

Tai just held Izzy close. He was happy. They were happy. They were going to be okay. There were so many uncertainties ahead of them. No doubt there were going to be what Izzy called episodes. The doctors even warned Tai that there could be relapses - that things could get worse. It scared the crap out of Tai, but he didn’t care. Tai has never loved anyone like Izzy, and he was willing to do whatever necessary to keep Izzy in his life.

Just the fact that they had made it this far was proof enough for Tai. They'd be okay. Not perfect, but since when has reality ever been about perfection. It was about making the best out of what you had, and Tai was determined to do just that.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so... this was never supposed to be this long. And it was also supposed to be bittersweet (more bitter than sweet), but I changed it for a hopeful ending. This story has been in my WIPs for almost a year now and I finally found the energy and courage to finish and post it. (Though I'm still not content with the ending). 
> 
> Anyway, it feels weird posting this after so long. Hope you enjoy this precious story of mine <3


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